|
|
|
|
+The Girl+
+I Am+ |
i wish it didn't hurt.. hurt like this.. to say these things to you.. i feel like i'm neglecting this diary. i had a super duper long awesome entry written last night, but ie felt like being a bitch and closed the window. some internal error. i wanted to cry. boo this. so here goes.. i'm scared. about cam. stupid me. but i have some small feeling that he's cheating on me. or something. just, he can't go out with me so often, yet he's not at his house. he's tired all the time, and he's phones always about to die. or its in his car. or on silent and he doesn't hear it. maybe he's just avoiding me. who knows. jess is mad at me again. i have some choice words to say about that matter, but yet again i am opinionless. i figure i get into far less trouble that way. if i keep my ideas to myself and let others carry on with their own meaningless existences. there's something very refreshing with telling someone off, but i just don't have the urge to. and right now i'm kinda freaked out because i think they're something behind me that's gonna kill me. gothic looking. white mask. jasonesque i would assume. "there is no life like the life in christ". that's the banner on this page right now. i can't stand church right now. i jthink that its basically useless. i mean, sure i'll go to church just to avoid arguments i don't feel like partaking in. but really, i feel that i can have my own personal relationship with God, however small it may be, and be fine. i do service work. i'm generally a good person. i just think that i do much more good work helping the poor, instead of sitting in church half sleeping through a sermon about the poor that Jesus fed a million years ago. i know this is how almost all teenagers feel, and when i have kids i'll want them to go to church, but that's not me yet at all. but enough of that stuff. i'm going to bed. to sleep. or at least attempt to. dos dedos. +The Last Five+ |