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+The Girl+
+I Am+ |
3 boys, 1 promise ahh.. the sweet bliss of trouble. went on a lunch date yesterday. didn't know it was a date. but it wasn't a date-date.. just two friends hanging out. and meeting actually. 1 guess who that was with. i kinda like him, but kinda not. he wants to hang out and stuff. i guess he doesn't quite know. damnit i hate this trouble shit. but i love it too. i guess i'm addicted to trouble. addicted to chaos. to doing stupid things that will be bad in the long run. but now.. what the hell do i do about chris? he's another one of those boys. has only kissed one girl, but he's done everything else with her too. i don't quite know the story, but she's divorced now and living in texas. er something. so that leads me to believe that she was married when they knew eachother. who knows. and then there was cameron.. who came to my house and we had playtime on the bed before work. work, then home, and out to bond park. and then there was skyler. sky, sweet sweet sky who i've seen a few times, but never in a regular pattern. but.. he was so sweet and warm and soft, and could hold me and kiss my shoulder.. and i sat on his lap with his arms around me.. and then we sucked face in tommy's car.. these boys, they come in 3's i've learned. and i never know what to do with them. i always want what i can't have. but at least skyler has put chris in perspective. i need to get out of this now before he gets hurt. i'm glad we haven't kissed yet, because that could be traumatic. i'd like to see how the skyler thing goes, but he doesn't have a car, and he doesn't go to my school, and i don't work with him, so i'm thinkin its pretty empty. but he is so sweet, and gorgeous, and someone who fits in perfectly with my friends.. ahh. well i'm off to ruin some more lives.. "to have love and lost is better to not have loved in the first place" i so just realized something. if cam just asked me to promise not to cheat on him, i would be forced not to. i wouldn't kiss boys. because i don't break promises. and i'd have to do something about this whole mess. he made me promise not to cut, why can't he do this? +The Last Five+ |