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+The Girl+
+I Am+ |
*insert thoughts here* i had a blast tonight. just messing around and wrestling on the floor with some of your closest friends is one of the best ways to spend a night. muy happy bday to chris, and the dancing hampster is the shit. boo ya. i'm being kept tabs on. loverly indeed. but of course i already knew that, just as i always know that. it kinda makes me feel safe and warm and fuzzy that someone is lookin out for me. :) so yay for that i suppose. yeah damnit i do like this guy who barely knows i exist. well, i'm sure he *knows* i exist, but not in the way i wish he did. i wish that i could stop liking other people's boyfriends. yeah, not just one but like three because i'm a stupid whore like that. i know i would *never*ever* do *anything*.. but i can always dream. dream is good. very good.. because dreaming is the best i can get lately. so rightyo, us crazy girls are already talking about prom. not like it's a big deal, because me and kate have been talking about it since august. first week of school august. but i'm deathly afraid i won't go. and that i'm not going to have a valentine. how much is that going to suck. oh buddy the biggest time i suppose. bigger then biggest. i *need* to meet more people. soak up the big picture. and i want to get out of this *thing*. i like talking to people with ideas and their own minds. i love reading poetry and talking about powerful lyrics. i love guitar and french and guys who can cook. and i also like boys who enjoy these great neccessities of our world. i guess what i miss is being held. i really miss hugs, kisses, and just having someone there to be with. i really want someone i can sit with, and just have numb silence. and not be awkward, not be anything sexual. just be together, and that be enough. eh. i want too much and i get too little. isn't there a happy medium somewhere? well.. i'm off to write some more or draw or play guitar or scream my lungs out. one of the above *will* make this a grand night indeed. good night, much love, here's to great nights and *better* mornings. +The Last Five+ |