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+The Girl+
+I Am+ |
and then there was i'm updating this far too much for my own good. this has been a good day, yesterday was pretty good too. joe left me a message to "stay cool". rightyo. so my list of people talking to me now includes mark. that's hot stuff. mark is a cool guy. i saw malone yesterday at church. i kinda poked him and said "i heard you've been saying bad stuff about me" and then left. i feel kinda bad about that, so i suppose i should talk to him before he goes and talks shit about me. probobly too late.. i've been chillin with laur and mag and all those crazy kids lately. i told them about all the shit that went down and they said that everyone didn't sound like real friends. i'm afraid i'm gonna start to believe that. we are the bench. undividable and strong. right? the thing is, we've all screwed up so many times, i thought that everyone could get over this. i know it's only been a week, but.. yeah. it's either now or never i suppose. i don't want to grovel, i don't want to say i'm sorry anymore. because the ball is in all of their courts now. if i'm not "good enough" to be their friend and hang out with them, then they weren't really my friends in the first place.. it's just really confusing and sucky. because i can't even count how many people have cheated, used guys and girls, been complete jackasses, dated someone after their friend did, etc. i'm far from innocent. but so is everyone else.. i've decided i want to become more like kate. she doesn't give a shit and just lets things go. and she doesn't get caught up in petty drama. i've been talking to this guy lately. andrew. sounds kinda cool, but lives in chapel hill. eh. we'll see. as long as i don't revert back to old ways and wishes and wanderings. i go to the zoo on tues with cam, and work with him on wed. rightyo. oh and i lost all my old emails that i had saved. all of them. it sucks my left nut. every email from cam, from mike. all my nostalgia from a carefree time. gone. +The Last Five+ |