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+The Girl+
+I Am+ |
kljasdlkfjroar. i've been writing on diaryland for over 2 years now. between this and k-hun, this diary has been through all the big parts of my life. i feel like some whiny angst-filled teenager, but nothing is going right. it all sucks pretty much. andrew is my shining light, but i don't get to see him till saturday. i went near the bench this morning. and then julie, laura and em all walked by me and kept walking past the bench so they wouldn't have to be near me. i almost broke down right there and then. it was sick. i don't know anymore.. i want out of my chorus class. troy is taking all of the fun out of singing, but now all the electives are full. and it blows. big ones. and my lunch period pretty much sucks. it's me, eva, lizzie and matt. they're all cool, but.. somethings missing. and i got left all alone today with no one to go off with. it sucked. i love my laura and my kit kat, but they're not the same as joejoe and ry and everyone else. i guess my problem is that i'm so hung up on all of this. i should just accept that i've lost my best friend, and most likely a good portion of the group i have grown to think of as a family. because i didn't think clearly one night, and let things go too far. apparently joe has been on a.. flirting rampage? i think that's what jess called it today. something about him and erica. i don't know anymore. my mom told me she wanted to kill herself. well not really. her actual words were "i wish i was dead". i was talking to cameron last night (yes old habits do resurface) and i was telling him about my emotional overload. and that everything is getting just a bit too much to handle. and all of this shit. but now he's leaving for school on thurs. we got so much closer near the end of the summer, and then with the busch gardens trip and everything.. roar. and now he's leaving. but i have andrew and my friends and and and yes.
+The Last Five+ |